11 min • Dec 2, 2014 (11 years ago)

One billion gods working inside three trillion universes couldn’t possibly create a reality this stupid.

11 min • Dec 3, 2014 (11 years ago)

The history of America is a narrative concerning the triumph of white supremacy.

11 min • Dec 4, 2014 (11 years ago)

Children are born corrupt, but gradually over time they begin to pass away and then rot.

11 min • Dec 5, 2014 (11 years ago)

When little ol’ love finally learns to talk, it chooses instead to yowl until its throat fills with brown.

11 min • Dec 6, 2014 (11 years ago)

For once, the tail manages to catch its snake and gobbles it down with a side of bibleberries.

11 min • Dec 9, 2014 (11 years ago)

The only true fact left in the whole world turns out to be a police sting to catch sexual predators and lock them up behind pearly gates.

11 min • Dec 10, 2014 (11 years ago)

While it is busy having fun, victory is eaten by time flies.

11 min • Dec 11, 2014 (11 years ago)

The Comening the Comening the Comening the Comening the Comening the Comening the Comening the Comening, etc.